Sewwwww… does it sound ridiculous if I say the hardest thing I’ve done all week is send my mother a Christmas list? I knowwww: it sounds stupid! But I’m for real. And that’s saying a lot since this week I had several 12-hour days of filming, which – believe me – is rough stuff.
You see, most people don’t have to engage in complex politics when their mom asks them for a few gift suggestions, but I made the mistake of coming out to my parents during the Christmas-terminating half of the year. That blessed morn will be their first chance to realize how heavy my macho mask has been. For example, here are some gifts I’ve asked for in the past:
Now let me be clear: I still smoke my pipe if I’m really stressed out at home, the boxing gloves are awesome, and Ron Swanson is one of my favorite TV characters. However, my point is simply that in the past the gifts I’ve asked for have been to convince either myself or others that I’m a MANLY MAN.
Now that I’m ‘out,’ nothin’s gonna stop me from asking for what I actually want for Christmas. I’m not going to fake my wishes. But I also need to be prudent. I’m guessing (maybe unfairly – but I doubt it) that my parents are going to be touchy about any “femininity” that shows up in my gift wishes. They still might be in the “let’s affirm his masculinity and shut down the femininity” stage.
So here’s my list for this year:
- A leather satchel-bag or something similar that can hold my books
- Coffee/tea thermos
- Movies I might like to own: 500 Days of Summer, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Howl’s Moving Castle
My mom then asked me for more, so I sent her another email with:
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
Joan of Arc – Her Story by Regine Pernoud
A good biography of Dorthy Day?
A pasta cookbook?
I think I kept it pretty tame. I cut out some of the more “girly” or just outright female stuff I want/need, like:
- A yellow umbrella like the one from How I Met Your Mother.
- A purple, dark green, or maroon pea coat.
- A purple or white knit hat
- Leg warmers (shit, it’s getting cold, and jeans just don’t cut it)
- Leather knee-high boots
- The collected works of Jane Austen (just seemed like too much for now)
Hopefully other people aren’t politicking their Christmas lists as much as I am. I’m probably over-sharing (I’m not a fan of turning blogs into personal rants), but I think it’s a strange and unexpected thing to have to navigate. It’s just weird. I dunno.
Everyone have a happy Thanksgiving vacation!